Pick YOur Mountain

There comes a point in life—a breaking point for many—when we pause on the mountain we’ve been climbing and wonder:

Is this even the right one?

This is what Carl Jung called individuation:

“Individuation means becoming an ‘individual,’ and, in so far as ‘individuality’ embraces our innermost, last, and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming one’s own self.”

– Carl Jung, Two Essays on Analytical Psychology

It’s the process of waking up to ourselves, of peeling away what society told us to do and listening for what we actually value. And often, we realize:

We’ve spent years climbing a mountain we were never meant to climb. This moment of realization is not failure – rather it’s a kind of awakening.

The Shit Sandwich Test

Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, offers a refreshingly honest metaphor:

“You just have to identify the things you’re willing to give up for it. What’s your favorite flavor of shit sandwich? Every single pursuit—no matter how wonderful and exciting and glamorous it may initially seem—comes with its own brand of shit sandwich. So the question is not so much ‘What are you passionate about?’ The question is: ‘What are you passionate enough about that you can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work?’”

– Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert

When I’m doing something that’s truly me—like creating, building, solving, leading—I’ll eat that sandwich all day. I’ll work extra hours, suffer more setbacks, and still feel alive.

But when I’m doing something out of fear, financial security or what is seen as important to society—like pursuing a career in nursing only because I needed financial survival or wanted to appease expectations—I feel existentially crushed. The work becomes heavy. The reward doesn’t move me.

That’s the difference. It’s not about avoiding difficulty.

It’s about knowing which struggle belongs to you.

Why Choosing the Right Mountain Feels So Impossible

Here’s the great structural illusion we live under:

We’re expected to choose our life’s direction at 18 or 19 years old.

Society says:

Pick your major. Pick your career. Pay thousands in loans. Then stick with it for life.

But what happens if you realize you’re climbing the wrong mountain?

Midlife hits, and you’ve got children, a mortgage, and no room to fall apart. Shifting paths becomes a 5–10 year journey: retraining, rebuilding, re-establishing.

That’s not a small thing—it’s a systemic design flaw.

And yet, we take it personally. And here’s the thing what is all this pressure isn’t a personal reflection on you, it’s a systematic issue.

In ancient societies like Athens, this rigidity didn’t exist.

According to historical accounts—including those of classicist Edith Hamilton and contemporary Athenian scholars—the average Athenian citizen wore many hats:

He was a soldier, a farmer, a philosopher, a juror, a craftsman, a statesman. Civic participation was not just allowed; it was expected.

As historian Loren J. Samons II writes in What’s Wrong with Democracy?

“The Athenians believed that the same citizen should be involved in decision-making, in battle, in religious life, and in the economic structure of the city. The distinction between public and private life was far less pronounced.”

But as Athens militarized and became embroiled in war, specialization emerged.

Soldiers were separated from statesmen. Philosophers were placed apart from tradesmen.

Society fragmented.

And what began as a collective became a machine. That same fragmentation is alive in modern society. We’re expected to pick a box, stay in it, and never leave. And if you do try to leave?

Expect resistance—social, financial, and personal.

What Tribes Knew That We Forgot

This isn’t just a Western problem. Tribal societies around the world offer a living memory of wholeness.

Anthropologist Wade Davis writes:

“The measure of a society is not in its technological sophistication, but in the wisdom with which it stewards the relationships among its people and with the natural world.”

– The Wayfinders

In tribal settings, identity is multifaceted - The warrior is also the singer. The mother is also the healer and counselor. The elder is a historian, philosopher, and guide. Everything is interwoven.

You’re not a machine part—you’re part of the whole.

What If You’re on the Wrong Mountain?

Then this realization might be your soul reorienting. Because no one’s mountain is fixed at 18. And it’s not weakness to shift—it’s wisdom.

You may face doubt from others, or fear from within. But the fire inside you—the longing to feel aligned—is telling the truth.

Even if it takes time or the external world resists. Even if you’ve already given years to a life that no longer fits. You are allowed to pivot.

Because the alternative is far worse - A life that looks fine on the outside but is empty inside.

Integration Is the Way Forward

In a fragmented world, your healing comes from integration.

Ask yourself:

• What do I value now?
• What work would I endure even when it’s hard?
• Which struggle makes me feel alive?
• Which  version of me is worth showing up for?

Let these questions guide you, not the frozen plans of your younger self. It’s okay to leave a mountain. It’s okay to change your mind.

It’s okay to try again—this time with . Carl Jung believed that individuation was the gateway to wholeness - but it requires courage.