Let’s call it out straight: Western capitalist culture has made it trendy to be cynical. In a world where profit, power, and self-interest take center stage, kindness has been pushed to the periphery. We’re taught to fend for ourselves, stay sharp, stay guarded, and climb whatever ladder is in front of us.
But what gets lost in the process?
Warmth. Presence. Human decency. The space to just be.
Societies that once thrived on community and mutual care now praise hustle and ego. Harshness gets interpreted as strength. Softness? It’s seen as a liability.
But here’s the kicker: kindness isn’t weak. It’s the fiercest thing you can practice in a world designed to crush beauty. It takes real guts to stay kind when everything around you screams otherwise.
What Kindness Really Does
Kindness isn’t about being a doormat. It’s not about sugarcoating or playing small. Kindness is an energy that clears the air. It disarms. It says: I see you. I respect you. I won’t fight you just to win.
It lets people put down their armor. It lets us breathe. When you show up with kindness, you give others permission to be human. It changes atmospheres. And quietly, often invisibly, it changes culture.
My Real-Life Experiments in Kindness
I’ve walked through some deeply unkind places — harsh workplaces, ego-heavy leadership environments, cultures built on control and fear. And I’ve also experimented with this truth: what if I stayed kind anyway?
The Workplace: Kindness vs Control
I once worked in an environment where the manager ruled by fear. Tick people off. Throw weight around. Scold and correct. And yet… I watched how coworkers would go out of their way to help me — not because I had power over them, but because I showed up with appreciation.
I helped them, served them, thanked them. I noticed what they were good at. I stayed friendly, even when the atmosphere was hostile. Slowly, people rallied. They offered to help me even when they didn’t want to help the actual manager. Why? Because I led with kindness, not control.
That’s when I realized something wild: you don’t need a title to be a leader. You just need to build trust.
The Cinderella Effect
Sometimes people mistake your friendliness for naivety. Let them. I’ve been the Cinderella in the story more times than I can count — given the worst tasks, passed over for credit, treated like I’m too soft to matter. But I held steady.
I stayed kind. I stayed present. I watched as people who tried to crush me with their misery ended up exposing themselves. Their bitterness became obvious. Their attempts to twist things backfired. Because while they were busy trying to trip me up, I was focused on keeping the energy clean.
Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.
Real Leadership Comes From Appreciation
In every environment I’ve worked in or led, I’ve noticed something universal: people will do anything for you if they feel seen.
Appreciate people. Respect them. Pay them well. Watch their gifts. Value their time. And magically, people want to give more. They rise up. They go the extra mile not because they have to, but because it feels good.
Kindness changes everything. It turns staff into teams. It turns obligations into joy. It turns transactional exchanges into real connection. I’ve seen it, lived it, and proven it again and again.
Control vs Inspiration
There are two types of leaders in the world:
Those who lead through control.
Those who lead through inspiration.
One leads through rules, threats, pressure, and oversight. They hold your life in their hands—through your paycheck, the possibility of promotion, or the direction of your career—and ultimately shape the ripple effects that impact your family. They lead by controlling what matters to you, not by inspiring you.
The other leads through presence, trust, energy, and a clear vision. They are the kind of leader people willingly rally behind because they know this leader has their back. They’re the kind of leader that brothers would stand on the front line for, even give their lives for—because they know this leader holds the future of their families in mind. This leader is a martyr for the happiness of their people. They care deeply about the welfare of what matters most to those they lead.
One exhausts everyone.
The other uplifts.
You get to decide what kind of energy you live and lead with. And trust me — when you lead with kindness, you are not lowering the bar. You are setting a higher one. You’re saying: I expect brilliance, and I’m going to walk with you through it.
This is not softness. This is power.
Why Kindness Wins
Kindness creates cultures that work. Kindness makes people feel safe. It fosters innovation. It invites contribution. It attracts loyalty.
It takes strength to hold kindness steady in a storm. But when you do, you’ll find:
Misery starts to dissolve.
Harsh people start to expose themselves.
Those with good hearts come closer.
And you… you start to feel like royalty. Because you’re no longer ruled by misery.
You are the ruler now.
Psychology & Leadership
Emotional Intelligence is now one of the top predictors of leadership success (Daniel Goleman).
Simon Sinek teaches that the best leaders make people feel safe.
Brené Brown reminds us that vulnerability is the birthplace of courage and leadership.
Neuroscience
Kindness releases oxytocin, lowering blood pressure and cortisol.
Studies from the Greater Good Science Center show that compassionate leaders improve productivity and job satisfaction.
Spiritual Teachings
The Dalai Lama: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
Buddhist Metta Practice: Loving-kindness as a force that purifies the heart.
Stoic Wisdom: True strength is calm, composed, and just.
Final Words
You are not here to shrink or to bite. You are here to rule with love.
Be kind. Be fierce. Be grounded.
Let them mistake you for soft.
Let them underestimate your power.
Let them reveal their own smallness.
You are not small.
You are the one clearing misery from the room.
You are royalty in disguise.
— Khalil Gibran
Books
Dare to Lead – Brené Brown (vulnerability in leadership)
The Kindness Method – Shahroo Izadi
Leaders Eat Last – Simon Sinek
Radical Compassion – Tara Brach
The Art of Happiness – Dalai Lama & Howard Cutler
Nonviolent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg
The Book of Joy – Desmond Tutu & Dalai Lama
Videos / TED Talks
Simon Sinek – Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe
Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability
David Hamilton – Why Kindness is Good for You
Mattieu Ricard – The Habits of Happiness
Daniel Goleman – Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
Podcasts
Unlocking Us – Brené Brown
The Happiness Lab – Yale’s Dr. Laurie Santos
On Being – Krista Tippett
Experts
Kristin Neff – Self-compassion pioneer
Simon Sinek – Human-centric leadership
Tara Brach – Radical acceptance & compassion
Marshall Rosenberg – Nonviolent Communication
David Hamilton – The science of kindness
Articles / Websites
Greater Good Science Center – https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
Harvard Business Review: Kindness in leadership
Psychology Today: The Neuroscience of Compassion
Mindful.org: Articles on self-kindness & emotional regulation
— Maya Angelou
One in a Million
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.